Recently I came across a phrase, and although I can’t remember it exactly, went something like "I don’t find my identity in that."  That phrase seems odd to me because it is more often than not, completely false.  No one "finds" their identity.  Identity is something that is "put".  For instance, I put my identity in being a Mennonite, living in Winnipeg, enjoying Woody Allen movies, etc.  It seems to me that meaning is far more often the result of investment than it is discovery.  That anything can be meaningful as long as one is willing put something into it.  And it isn’t always conscious, but even so it exists.  Another personal example is my fandom regarding the Blue Bombers.  In reality, the winning or losing of a professional sports team in my city matters very little.  It might be argued that there is some cultural or social capital that is developed by the Bombers successes (or lack thereof), but if I was fired from my job or expecting a child or something that would inarguably mean more to any sane person, the prospective season of football means little.  And yet, disappointments in November are crushing to my psyche only because for some reason I have tied myself to this team.  Because part of my identity is also put in name-dropping, it bears mentioning that this may be something similar to Nietzsche’s notion of "will to power", consciously deciding what’s up.  If I had the will, I could sever my connection to the Bombers and their pitiful quarterback situation would not matter to me.

To get back to what I was talking about it the last entry, seriousness includes investing meaning in things that aren’t ridiculous.  It doesn’t mean you can’t invest in something ridiculous (like the history of cotton candy or whatever), but there should be serious investments made in things that matter.  And while what constitutes "things that matter" is certainly up for debate, I do not think it is presumptuous to exclude some things.  It would be smart to exclude, for example, the bullshit on this or any other blog.  Most of the internet, and the blogosphere in particular, is useless buffoonery.  The only ones I think that are worth reading are ones in which I have invested a real life relationship with.

With all this being said, it should be noted that the word "find" in the phrase that started this entry, could be defined differently, but I don’t think people use it differently than the way they say "I found the green olives in the condiment aisle".  It is dangerous to float around the supermarket of meaning plucking what tickles your fancy.  Chances are high that if you are in this situation, you are shopping while hungry, leading to bad decisions.  Decisions like worrying about celebrity relationships, the marshmallow spread of identity investment.  I propose we take what we choose to care about more seriously, so that it will inevitably lead to crushing existential guilt and anguish.  Of course I am being somewhat facetious, but also not.  So next week:  Existential Guilt - is it fake? or is it annoying?

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